Howie's first big day

"MA! WHERE"S THE FREAKIN' CEREAL?"

"Foind it yer own Damn self ya little bastud!"

"Ta hell with dis! I'm outta heah!"

And with that, Howie Huey, batard son of an inventor whose every idea was stolen by his best friend, kicked the front door of his house open and stomped out into the hard cruel world to find his fortune, at the tender age of 28. He was wearing his favorite undershirt, stained with last night's chewing tabacco.

"I sweah, dis is fer da boids. YA HEAH DAT MA? FER DA BOIDS! DA BOIDS!!"

It was a beautiful day, and he couldn't imagine a better way to spend it than at O'Malley's bar, putting a bigger and bigger dent in JohnnyO's tab. He ran a hand along his cheek.

"Cripes! I must look like some kinda sick animal wid alla dis fuzz on me face. I bet OMalley'll know what to do."

He would indeed.